I guess I'm just a vile, venomous person according to Tabitha... she'll talk to Troy but not me.... will tell him things but won't work things out with me... oh well...I guess I deserve it...

 Well add another kid to the list that's not talking to me... Courtney doesn't like some of the advice I have her about the boys... she got upset and unfriended me...I guess I really am a bad mom... and stepmother... oh well...I suck...

Bleh

 Tami and family are moving in with Tabitha and family for awhile. This is great and wonderful... and would be perfect if Tabitha was talking to me... 

I'm not doing good....

 Tami wished me a Happy Mother's Day first thing this morning. It was awesome. But she was the only one all day... no one else even thought of me today... I'm feeling sorry for myself. I had hopes that I would get more... but it didn't happen... oh well... that's what happens when you suck at being a mom...

 Talked to Samantha today... although she told me they are now Skout... we'll see how long that will last! They like to change their name. I fully support whatever name they chose. In trying super hard to get the pronouns rift, as well. 

Also talked to Jaxon this morning. He couldn't talk long but he wanted to let me know that he missed me. 

It's nice to talk to the grandkids...I miss them so much. 

 It's been a long time since I wrote on here. Many things have changed. My whole life has changed. Divorced Dave.... retired from teaching... moved to an rv full time.... with Troy of all people! 

Also screwed up my relationship with Tabitha somehow.... she had many reasons but the biggest was that I wasn't  there when she needed me. The thing is...I didn't realize she needed me. She says she asked me for help in July last year 2022... and I refused to be there for her. Those who really know me know that I wouldn't just say no...I had to have had a reason....I needed to be in Wichita for Jameson's birthday and didn't have the money to go back to Kansas City.... she didn't understand that and didn't tell me that until a month or so ago... April 2023... she also sent me a message that basically says everything I've done as a mom and Grammy was wrong and I should've known better. When I replied to defend myself she got hurt and called me venomous.... publicly on Facebook and then unfriended me... but let all her friends comment on her side of things... but I'm not supposed to feel hurt... she hasn't spoke to me in any way for over a month even though I apologized even though I'm not sure I was totally in the wrong...

I'm hurt and I'll bend over backwards apologizing if it means she'll talk to me again... but I can't do that if she won't talk to me...

I don't know what else to do...I cry myself to sleep each night because I don't know what to do...