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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Hey....I've Had A Class or Two...

I know I'm not perfect. I don't pretend to be. I have never been comfortable with people telling me how smart they thought I was - I never felt smart. But on the same token, I don't like to be told - or made to feel -that I am stupid. One thing I know a lot about is kids. I love kids. I love being around them. I love watching them and learning from them. I like trying to figure out what is going on in their little minds. I love studying about them and do everything I can to learn more. I am not an expert. Not by a long shot. But I am comfortable saying I know what I am doing when it comes to kids.
Which makes it irritating and even hurtful to have someone question by abilities. Not as a teacher - but as a grandmother. There are some who say I'm too lenient. Who say that I spoil my grandchildren too much. And by spoiling them, they are not just saying that I buy them too much - which I do - and will continue to do - but that I let them get away with too much. That I'm not strict enough. And that I spoil my grandchildren not just because I love them and - well - because I am a grandmother and it's kind of my job to spoil them - but that it's because I don't understand the psychology of a child. That I don't understand how the behavior of a child and the way he or she is treated at home (or grammy's house) can affect the way he or she will act at school. Never mind that I work every day with children with behavioral issues. Never mind that I have a Master's Degree in special education with an endorsement in behavioral disorders. But because I pick and choose my battles with smart, intelligent, young grandchildren who want to push their limits - who want to explore every avenue of their environment. Grandchildren who are at the age where they are stubborn and who you can battle every moment with if you choose to. And some choose to. And that's okay. It's not my way of doing things, but it's still okay. I know, for instance, that my three year old grandchild will fight getting his clothes on because he likes to be naked. I also know that he must wear his clothes when he goes to daycare or leaves the house for any reason. It's a battle I choose to fight because I know it's needs to be fought. I also know that this same grandson doesn't always want to sit down and eat and entire meal. He sometimes wants to get up and play after taking a few bites. He almost always goes back to eat a few more bites and take a drink. This is another battle I can choose to fight. Depending on the day and what we have planned, I will either fight that battle or not fight that battle. If we are just chilling at home - it's not a battle I choose to fight. It's not worth my time and trouble or the tears and screams of an unhappy three year old.

Other people choose to call me "too lenient" or "gullible" or "too likely to give in" when I choose not to fight the battles. To them, I am "letting" my grandchildren "get away" with behaviors I shouldn't let them get away with. And they believe that by me doing this I don't understand the psychology of a child's mind. That, somehow, if I let my grandchild get away with this at my home, he or she will that it's okay to do the same thing at school - or at mom and dad's home.

I always want to tell them the same thing I tell my students at school. There are different rules for different situations. Kids need to learn this - the earlier the better. Imagine see a group of men on a field. They are all chasing a ball. Some are knocking others down. No one gets mad or upset because its okay in this situation. Put that same group of men on a court inside a building with a ball of a different shape. Now it is not okay to knock people down. If you hit another man too hard, or in a certain way, you will be made to sit out of the game. It's just the difference between football and basketball. No one questions that rules are different for the two games - for the two different situations. It's just the way it is.

That's just kind of the same way it is when a child moves from his or her own home - to a grandparents home - to school. They learn that there are different rules for different situations. Grammy might be a little more lenient than a teacher at school. Heck - Grammy will be different at home than she is at school.

It's just the way it is...

5 things that made me smile today.

  1. Proof that God is out there and He is watching over us at all times.
  2. TV show about Star Trek and how it affects science fact.
  3. Only one small problem from my little angel today.
  4. Water play - watching it and not being a part of it.
  5. A great American Idol - Kree Harris(on?) and Candice Glover as the final two.

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